


the love we think we deserve

by themoonandmargot



Category: Andi Mack (TV)
Genre: Angst, M/M, a rambly lil drabble
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-22
Updated: 2019-06-22
Packaged: 2020-05-16 09:55:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19315801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/themoonandmargot/pseuds/themoonandmargot
Summary: TJ thought he knew loss.





	the love we think we deserve

**Author's Note:**

> this is just a tiny lil drabble that i wrote after 3x15, unloading zone. the angst is real, y'all !

before, tj only _thought_ he knew loss.

he thought loss was the drop in his stomach when he got back a bad quiz grade in math class. he thought loss was a slammed locker after scoring too few points in a basketball game. he thought loss was the unexpected death of a family member you loved to the ends of the earth.

in certain ways, he was right. he knew loss is as devastating as it is subjective, something truly personal. but tj only knew of loss that gave back as much as it took.

he did poorly in math, yet he learned to accept help from others. he lost a game in basketball, yet he found the true drive to keep his chin up and work harder. and he came to cyrus’ house dressed in mourning black, yet he became closer to cyrus.

he really likes cyrus.

and therein lies the problem.

because sometimes you find someone in your life who truly understands you, someone you trust. they make you a better person. they show you compassion. their kindness scares you. your feelings scare you. the fear, tj decides, is worth it.

the fear, however, is what ruins everything. someone else scares tj, not with kindness, but with judgement and quiet threats. he has no choice but to follow this source of fear; otherwise it may grow to consume everything in its path. he eventually appeases this person. but in doing so, he drives away another.

it’s a lesson tj wishes he never had to learn: loss can be vindictive and selfish. loss can be the only person you ever felt safe with turning around, walking away, and never looking back.

what is there to gain after losing someone like that?

what is left to keep?


End file.
